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Signs when a break is possibly over...

Aug 11 2016 5:28AM Posted by Marcel D allende

Life is about peaks and valleys, it flows through different phases and no one phase is better than the other, it simply is what it is in that moment. Not judging the phase as good/bad or right/wrong is the challenge we face as human beings, being okay with whatever we are experiencing.

And, a part of this human experience for me is to be mindful of being in balance in all phases of my life and when I'm not, I consciously take a break. This could look like; My body starts slacking from too much exercise at which point I take a break and allow it to recover before I continue training. Or it could be something like me not feeling connected to my human-ness and as much as my spiritual journey is important to me, I would take a break from my spiritual practice to allow myself to 'check-in' with mySelf. I'm of the school of thought, that I was spirit first and then decided to have a go at this human experience so I'm definitely wanting to stay connected to being human.... forgive me I digress, this is a topic for another day...:-)  

I think we all agree that taking a break is awesome and much needed at times. However, recently I experienced my 'break' had become a habit which definitely was not serving me and thus begs the question to be asked; When is it enough of a break?    

Following are some possible signs of when your break should probably be coming to an end;

  1. Feeling uncomfortable:

You don't feel the same 'aaaaahhhhhh' about the break. Remember when you created the break in the first place? You melted into the space of 'nothingness' due to the temporary ‘let go’ and felt so calm and at peace. Well, that feeling is no longer exists, you start feeling uncomfortable, like something is wrong, even guilty about being it.

  1. Resistance:

When you experience the 'awakening' that something is amiss and you want to step out of the break, you may experience some resistance. This is generally due to the fact that it's become a habit and thus your comfort zone and whenever you challenge yourself to step outside your comfort zone, it normally creates resistance.

  1. Feeling powerless:

So by now you’ve become aware that it’s a space that no longer serves you, that it’s become a habit and you start to set daily intentions / goals which looks something like; “Tomorrow I will try / Next week I will start….” and by tomorrow you come up with excuses of why it’s not a good idea to start now or justify why it can wait… etc. It's really hard to break a habit, but the problem with this habit is that it was only supposed to be a temporary break and not a permanent feature…:-)

  1. Beat-up mode:

By now you've run out of excuses to get back to what you took a break from, but you’re still not able to get into action! Now you start beating yourself up for failing to make the change or for coming up with excuses or for allowing yourself to stay in the break so long….and this phase could last a while since it’s also satisfying the inner critic…whoop whoop goes the inner critic…:-)

  1. Resignation mode:

AND now you've beaten yourself up enough and simply give up! There is no way you can see yourself shifting out of this 'temporary' break, so you give up and resign yourself to 'this is how my life is', forgetting that you created this and thus can un-create it. And the challenge is that once you're in a state of resignation, you start 'mind-fucking' yourself and start justifying why it's ok to feel this way and that maybe it's meant to be, etc etc etc blah blah blah.

What a slippery slope to be on..... One I know and understand all too well and have experienced too many times…:-)  I had so much resistance coming out of my last break and when I finally sourced enough courage to finally step out of it, I experienced a new level of joy! I was ecstatic (still am) and experienced a new level of creativity, of flow and of relating!  That's exactly what breaks are supposed to do, catapult you to the next level but be mindful and ensure your break does not become a permanent feature in your life….:-)

 At times what we took a break from is certainly not what we want to go back to and that is ok, but that's a decision on a conscious level and in place of what you don't want, you would have created something that you do want.  This blog is not to be confused with those very empowering moments and merely speaks into when a break has become more of an unconscious, permanent feature / habit in your life.    

Stay tuned to get tips on how to get yourself out of 'break-mode' back into your next level of personal power.

Massive blessings to you.
ps: If any of this resonated with you, feel free to share on social media and spread the love.

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Special vs Unique
Mar 30 2014 9:54AM Posted by Marcel D allende

Years ago, a friend shared with me that one of the problems in our society is that we all think we are special and I have to admit, I was so busy ‘feeling special’ myself that I did not pay much attention, I simply ‘parked’ it….:-)  Years later… I not only get what he meant, I also see the impact of feeling special in our own lives as well as our society!

I’m probably the biggest cheerleader encouraging people to shine their light and show up as their unique selves, but recently I started wondering if others maybe had the same challenge as I had in getting the distinction between special vs unique.

The problem with “I’m special…” is that it sets you apart from everyone else and can lead to an over-inflated sense of self, sense of  entitlement or even “life-owes-me-I-deserve-everything-because-I-am-special-Me” kind of feeling and being. It can also create separation… ”I’m special, therefor you aren’t”. This is what some people refer to as the negative ego.  The impact of this is that you cannot experience a real connection with others when you are ‘special’ and they are not, you have to set yourself apart from them, create separation. It creates the belief that it is relatively ok if ‘not so good things’ happen to the other billions of people that live on the planet, but if anything bad happens to me, it is the worst, most awful thing in the entire world and I cannot handle it because I am special. Simply put – it is disempowering and creates separation!

There’s nothing wrong in acknowledging your uniqueness in the world, with knowing yourself as a miracle of Life/God. In fact, I believe this is why we came here in the first place! When we acknowledgement our uniqueness, we recognize and celebrate the uniqueness in each other and by doing so, we give each other permission to shine our uniqueness, our light, as we go along. This is inclusive, not separation! This is the space where acceptance is born from and tolerance is no longer required (tolerance still means something is wrong and you are merely tolerating it)! This is where we start to ‘see’ our impact on the Whole, where we start to have a sense of belonging to the Whole, to experience ourselves as ONE.

Namaste’ 

(The divine in me, honors the divine in you.)


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How deep is your Brave?
Mar 19 2014 3:22AM Posted by Marcel D allende
Yes, the question reminds me of Sara Bareilles – “Brave” song, but instead of asking how big is your brave, I'm asking it a bit different; How deep is your brave?

Definition of brave; having or displaying courage, resolution, or daring; not cowardly or timid         

And for me the characteristics of bravery can be summed up as follows;

  • Having fear and still being in action,

  • Following your heart (being inspired to the point of action),

  • Letting go of the known and stepping out of your comfort zone,

  • Having faith and trusting yourself and the bigger picture.

Most of us seem to find the courage to step bravely into whatever we want to do or create when all the conditions are right i.e. It inspires us and calls us to action, we have enough support (resources), a good support network constantly encouraging and cheering us on, trusting ourselves and our abilities, creating / doing things that are feasible, etc.... This is what I like to refer to as 'surface brave'

But what happens when the odds seem to be stacked against us? When things don't seem to be working in our favor any longer? You still feel inspired by your creation but somehow your trust (including your support system) seems to be fading into the background. Doubt starts to set in, you and your support network start questioning your vision/plan/dream. How deep is your brave then?

       

I believe that this is where most of us fall short and walk away from what we want before actually achieving it. We simply don't dig deep enough.

I recently had my own depth of bravery tested and found that without sourcing enough courage, trust and faith, I would simply have said; “Oh well I tried and it doesn't seem to be in the cards for me right now...” and would have walked away.... sound familiar? We've all used a variation of that sentence some point in our lives, right? :-)  

I'm now of the opinion that this could be the biggest cop-out we use only because we do not source deep enough. I'm not saying all creations will manifest (we are co-creators after all), but what I am inviting you to consider is; If you are still completely inspired, moved and touched by your creation and the odds seems to be stacked against you right now, maybe all that's needed is for you to dig deeper and source your brave instead of walking away when the surface brave runs out.


Brave people do things that might not work, but they follow it through to the end. When’s the last time you did that?

Massive blessings.
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Tips to Feel more ALIVE and Motivated in 2014
Jan 7 2014 2:26AM Posted by Marcel D allende

Happy and Prosperous New Year to you!

Maintaining your happiness and level of motivation can sometimes be quite daunting or near impossible.  The following tips are what gets me jumping out of bed in the morning! Some of them will resonate with you, others will not, mix and match, throw some out, add some different ones, regardless of what you decide to use, do so consciously and commit to it. Make the most of this year and celebrate being ALIVE!

  • Create something that inspires you – instead of having another failed New Year’s resolution, create clear and attainable goals or add onto existing goals by defining exactly what you really want to achieve in 2014. Define it in space and time i.e. what do you want, how much do you want and by when do you want it? Make sure it Inspires, Moves and Touches you or else your chances of achiev­ing it and staying motivated is slim. When we are in action of our goals we experience happiness, fulfillment and excitement.

  • Start your day with  DANCE – even if you think you can’t dance, play music which really pumps you up and let your body ‘get jiggy with it’.  Don’t be worried if you may look like a praying mantis whose limbs are contorted in a mess. You will feel alive and ready to face your day!

  • Daily intentions – Set clear and specific intentions for the day. Decide how you want to feel and what you want to accomplish!  With intentions you are directing your mind to focus/stalk what you want to experience, thus leave nothing to chance. Of course your intentions are not going to be negative such as ‘this day is going to hard’, create a more upbeat one such as ‘today I’m going to have fun with all my meetings’.

  • Think positively – the way we relate / react to any situation in our life is what determines our reality. Life doesn’t always show up the way we want or planned and when we are faced with adver­sities, we can either choose to see them as opportunities for growth or a huge boulder in the road. We all have the power to change our mindset from negative to positive and improve our lives by freeing up energy to do the stuff we love to do.

  • Travel somewhere new and adventurous – It doesn’t have to be to another country or dangerous but, traveling somewhere outside your comfort zone makes you feel alert and alive!  You may choose to take a different route to work or to the gym, a new and fresh environment enroute to your daily activi­ties is an adventure too. Alternatively make the decision to join us on one of our exotic retreats!

  • Get out into nature – When you connect with the energy of nature you remember that you are part of a living planet. Nature is very beneficial to our mental, physical and spiritual health!

  • Schedule ‘ME’ time – We all know that we cannot give when our cup is empty and yet so many of us still feel it’s self-indulgent! Schedule time in your calendar as you would any other meeting and be committed to it, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Wouldn’t you rather be operating from an inner peace with a huge increase in self-respect because you honored yourself enough to give yourself the space to recharge your batteries?

  • Create FUN in your life – This is my number one…nothing is worth doing if I’m not having fun with it!! Schedule regular fun activities with your family, colleagues or friends and simply relax into having FUN. This is like soul medicine even if it’s only once a month, it is what is needed to make your soul smile!

  • Lighten up! – We simply take life too serious! As Samuel Butler says – ‘Man, unlike the animal, has nev­er learned that the sole purpose of life is to enjoy it’. Being able to laugh at yourself and at situations is a huge stress reliever and keeps you young. And best of all…it makes life more FUN!

  • Healthy habits – If you are a couch potato like most people, simply committing to going for a 15 minute walk (outside or on the treadmill) can get your heart rate up and help activate your creative mind.  While you’re walking you can use the 15 minutes to set your daily intention, killing two birds with one stone.

Take responsibility for your happiness in 2014 and makes this year your most memorable one ever!

Massive Blessings to all.

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So Who am I?
Aug 26 2013 10:50AM Posted by Marcel D allende

Who am I? Who is my Authentic Self? Who is my Identity? When am I being my Ego? What is transformation? Questions, questions and more questions and sometimes, in instead of providing clarity, it simply creates more confusion.

Yesterday morning I coached a friend I haven't seen in a few years. She repeatedly checked in with me to make sure I had my coffee before we started the session. Rather confused by it all, I reflected a bit to see where it could be coming from and then it hit me!  

The last experience and reference Sandra had of me was when I still thought of myself as being a 'B-Y-T-C-H before Coffee' and how that translated into my world was that I would be in the foulest mood before I have my first sip of coffee. I would be manic if there wasn't any coffee around, I would 'plan' my sleep overs with my coffee pot and take along my personal stash of coffee, not even my mother was spared and to 'safe guard' herself, she used to stock up on my favorite coffee when I was expected to visit...:-) I never felt there was anything 'wrong' with the fact that I needed coffee to jump start my day (and my mood) and took responsibility for it by communicating to people that they should simply not bother me before my first sip if they valued the relationship...:-) so no surprise after reflection, why Sandra was insistent on knowing if I had that sip yet...:-)

The part that she missed over the years is that I no longer associated who I am with coffee. The 'B-Y-T-C-H before Coffee' doesn't exist any longer and I now have freedom to choose my morning beverage. Most mornings I still choose coffee, but I gave up thinking that it's a part of who I am, part of who I Identify myself as being, so it doesn't affect me either way. 

I never consciously joined the dots (and there have been several other similar instances) until yesterday morning and on reflection, I got a deeper layer of an awareness; The more I give up who I think 'I am', the more the true Me reveals itself.

This feels totally liberating! Think about it; When you think of yourself in a certain way (regardless if you perceive/judge it as positive or negative), it takes energy and 'doing' to live it. As an example: If I think of myself as being a 'straight shooter' always shooting straight from the hip, brutally honest in the moment and not taking prisoners... then I have to 'live up' to being a straight-shooter all the time, I have to ensure that the world sees and experiences this straight-shooter, I have to defend and protect the straight-shooter all the time, at any cost, because if I cease to be the straight-shooter, then who am I?  

Now what I GOT yesterday morning is; What if I give up all thoughts of who I think I am? I don't have to protect anything, defend anything, or do anything unless I actually want to and not because I have to! What people think of me would not be important because I am not 'doing' anything, or protecting who I am, I'm simply showing up in life. Can you imagine the freedom and liberation in that space?

What a revelation! This may be on the level of 'Awareness for Dummies' and I admit I'm a bit slow in the 'getting' department, however with this new layer, I GET what transformation is all about...Giving up my ideas and thoughts of who I am! How simple is that?

Pop a bottle of champers! Three cheers for liberation and transformation!  

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